a moment

I found myself taking deep breaths this morning, wanting to suck up all the atmosphere, every  single moment, to hold them in my chest, force them through my veins, keep them with me where they can't be taken. This is holy. Life is holy.

I hear my grandparents' wind chime singing to me outside from the front porch.

"Re.mem.ber...re.mem.ber..." That's what the chimes beckon. I hear my grandma's voice like an angel's. I agree that I will. I will remember.

Found myself confessing to a daughter that I am quite ridiculous at times; yes, forgetful and ungrateful. I'm sorry. I don't deserve this good but He says otherwise. I must always agree, especially when it doesn't add up. Easy to do when it falls in my favor.

I've kissed cheeks extra long and hard today. I looked a bit longer at eyebrows and teeth and freckles. Subtle changes, I don't want to go unaware. I've cried at least three times now. Mother's Day. A day to be. A day to see. A day to remember.

I was given a compliment so generous it made me blush. When God says this is who I am, in all of my weakness and inability...blatant deficiencies...in all of my begging to not do what is known, to be something that I've not yet known...just agree. Just agree with grace, in faith, that you will be just what he says. That you already are, in the greater reality.

My hands, heart, home, all full. I look longer the shorter my days become. It's such a whirlwind but there are altars that will not be moved. There are moments that are consecrated in my heart, unto the Lord. And in between the few of these are many, many wasted moments that I cannot recoup, that I cannot even recall. What I gather, in all the fullness, is really just a handful. I simply cannot take it all in, in the span of this one life. I am blessed. Unashamedly I say, I am blessed.