trust

I can feel how narrow His ways are. I can see how fine the line drawn is. And then I am forced to pick a side, to pick a 'truth' and then stand for it with all of my might, build my very life upon it. The questions comes, every situation, every scenario...who/what are you going to believe? Who/what are you going to trust? Who/what are you going to place your faith upon? God or man? There are so many things to believe, trust, hope in but only One will prove true in the end. Only One is left standing once the fire of testing has had its way. If I don't believe what He says is true, I call Him a liar. If I don't trust His goodness, I call Him bad. If I don't cast my hope upon Him, I trust in idols that are unable to truly save me. Even the kings of the earth hope falsely when they trust in their riches, favor, and power. There is only one name that will truly save and that is the name of Jesus.

Psalms 20:7 "Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God."

Psalms 40:4 "Blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods."

Psalms 84:12 "LORD Almighty, blessed is the one who trusts in you."

Psalms 118:8 "It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in humans."

Psalms 125:5 "Those who trust in the LORD are like Mount Zion, which cannot be shaken but endures forever."
Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding..."

Proverbs 11:18 "Those who trust in their riches will fall, but the righteous will thrive like a green leaf."

Proverbs 29:25 "Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe."

rich

I do not covet another's life. I don't want anybody else's life but the one I have in Christ. I am so entirely rich with the one that I've been given. My portion, my boundary lines, they have indeed fallen in pleasant places. Does that mean I possess every worldly pleasure known to man? Hardly. I many times make due with what I have but I'm thankful. So thankful. My cup runneth over, and over and over. Little is much when God is in it. He makes all things abound to me because He is abounding in love.

Proverbs 15:16 "Better a little with the fear of the LORD than great wealth with turmoil."

My children are phenomenal. Each one of them is a gift from heaven, no matter the difficulties, sacrifices, the tensions at times. I would lay down my life for each one of them. They are the fruit of my womb, a reward from the Lord; a reward I do not deserve, mind you. I could have never imagined that God would have given me this much life, blessing, goodness. Surely there is nothing I could have done to deserve the kindness He has shown me, in blessing my life so richly. I am eternally indebted to his greatness. I am so thankful for my children, for this new life that is growing on the inside. I'm growing richer every day in God's grace and glory and that's the only kind of rich I really ever want to be. My life, my heart, my arms are full and that is the mark of the blessing of the Lord. He is more than enough.

alive

I'm so glad to be alive. So glad to feel joy and pain. I'm so glad God rescued me and gave me a life I could never deserve. I'm so blessed to be the wife of a patient, thoughtful husband; a mother to brilliantly beautiful children; a friend to incredible souls; and even more than all that, a friend of God. There is no loss or disappointment, failure or devastation that could ever take what has been given me. For what I posses is eternal, untouchable and will never perish. What I've been given in Christ is what I am, who I am. Nobody can truly take that away from me. Man may demand it of me but it can never be. You can't touch it with human hands, you can't even put a price on it. It's this precious thing called life and I've only one to live. And it belongs to the One who gave it to me and I know that nothing can pry it from His grip. What a deep assurance to know that I'm perfectly kept by God, that my days have a number to them, that my life is written in a book and it is a phenomenal story, with a phenomenal ending. I'm so glad to be alive in Christ.

a hard day

We lost two kitties today. One was a baby kitten, not even a week old. Failure to thrive is all I can gather. It looked just like Paige, having the same father. It was the calico one. The girls ran out early this morning to check on the babies. The gray one was already stiff but was nestled up with the orange one, as if it didn't know. Hard morning, lots of tears and then a funeral behind the shed with songs and prayers. I do not like losing things that I love.

And then right before dinner this evening, we find our most precious Paige in the road, bloody, eyes bulging. It was awful. An awful way to lose a very special friend. The worst part is that Paige was pregnant. I just happened to take some pictures of her today. This is the two of us on the back porch swing. I was reading the Word. She was being the sweet cat that she was. She was as soft as our rabbit.

I've never met a cat as sweet as Paige. She truly was a source of joy in my life and I'm so very sad that she and her unborn babies are gone. I miss her already. Tears.

signs

Ezekiel 36:26-28

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. Then you will live in the land I gave your ancestors; you will be my people, and I will be your God.

Sometimes God gives us a sign...of His goodness...of His presence. And sometimes He gives us two...

life

Sometimes it all feels like a movie, like slow motion; a book unfolding at the speed of the reader's ability to comprehend it. There are these pregnant pauses, moments, and the theme music is cued and the whole unforeseen thing comes to a crescendo and it spills divinely over. It reminds me that I am still alive, still incredibly alive; admonishes that every pore in my skin is indeed open, vulnerable and not the heavy armor that it at times feels to be. It is larger than life but dainty enough to tuck away in a heart-shaped locket. Lost in wonder at how two complexities can coexist at once, like harmony and melody, terrible and wonderful, God and man. This life is wild and fluid yet must surely be framed so on-purpose-like by the Creator of it all. It's for Him to behold with his privileged perspective. It is foolproof from afar, no doubt. It all makes sense in context, from that place of deep space where all is motionless with a quiet hush; where all is seen and understood and not absorbed in the chaotic details of the soul's traffic. Magnificent perfection. Heavenly composed peace. 

Beginnings and ends. Life and death.

the unexpected

I can honestly say that God has brought some of the greatest gifts in my life through unexpected circumstances, scenerios and surprises. So glad that He is God and I'm not