This is the news and it's very sad to me. Very sad. No need to deny the sorrow and grieving that is taking place on the earth today.
http://louxfamilyblog.com/
Derek Loux was not a personal friend of mine though I knew him as many others knew him; as an inspirational forerunner that trumpeted the Father's heart for the fatherless and oppressed wherever his feet took him. I have heard him speak a number of times and I would say that his message is so raw that it is almost before his time; very much like both his life and death. His exhortations haunt me as I follow the LORD in my own journey concerning the fatherless and what justice would look like for them. Honestly, it looks like a family. This is justice for the orphan and the widow; to be set in families.
For whatever reason, this tragedy has touched me deeply in my soul. Perhaps in part it is the precious burden of intercession. I realize it's a gift to feel the heart of Jesus, not just know it. In saying yes to the emotions of God, not just the cerebral things, you partake in the fellowship of suffering as well as the glory. But perhaps the other part would be that it's devastating to lose, period. Loss is just plain painful. 10 priceless children and one beautiful bride lost something/someone very valuable today. And yet we say, 'Blessed be the name of the LORD! Who gives and takes away!' Surely, there is pain in this offering tonight.
Watching the IHOP web stream I have seen/felt the complexity of grieving intertwined with raw praise unto a good God who's always good though hard to fathom. I believe there are tears mingled with the wine tonight in Kansas City and for many who touch IHOP-KC. I feel we have lost a father today and yet I say I trust You, Father.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
The Power of Prayer
Not sure why this always seems to be the case but, I woke up yet again with a phrase in my mouth. In my dream I was preaching on a stage and this is what I said.
"It's no wonder people do not pray. If you are not convinced that prayer changes things in the heavens and earth, then you would have no motivation to engage in prayer."
Do you believe that your prayers CHANGE things? If not, that might be the resistance to engaging in it. Lord, release a revelation of the power of deep fellowship and friendship with the Living God!
"It's no wonder people do not pray. If you are not convinced that prayer changes things in the heavens and earth, then you would have no motivation to engage in prayer."
Do you believe that your prayers CHANGE things? If not, that might be the resistance to engaging in it. Lord, release a revelation of the power of deep fellowship and friendship with the Living God!
Monday, December 21, 2009
Apostolic Women
I am reading a book that was loaned to me by a dear friend of mine. The book is called, The Lost Apostle and you can find more on it/the author here: http://www.renapederson.com/
It's the story of Junia, an apostle named by Paul, the one whom also mentions that women should learn in quiet submission. The basis of the book is found in Romans 16:7.
"Salute Andronicus and Junia, my kinsmen, and my fellow-prisoners, who are of note among the apostles, who also were in Christ before me."
Junia was a woman.
When I first started to read the book, something inside of me began to identify with the shame of being a female in general, let alone in ministry. My deep-rooted fear of man (not limited to women, by any means) began to reveal itself and I felt a deep sorrow in my heart. Not your typical response, I don't think, to discovering that there were indeed female apostles in the Bible. You would think that my heart would have initially been delighted but, I was confronted w/my own disbelief and ignorance over this issue. I've been in such a season of coming into my 'own' (or rather, 'his' own) that my eyes have been both gradually and instantly opened in a way that absolutely feels revelatory. I should not be surprised by such obvious insights and yet, it always seems like the first time I've heard it when it does come.
I believe a revelation of bridal partnership is coming in a deep, powerful way. I am reminded of the recent words of Shelley Hundley concerning this. And this revelation is most certainly for the bride, both men and women, but I see so many prophetic parallels in the way the women in the Bible governed w/authority, fearlessness and integrity of heart and how the Bride of Christ is to govern, as well. Women who feared the Lord and acknowledged his name were used mightily by Him to accomplish His purposes. There is no male/female in Christ in this sense. Galatians 3:28 'There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.'
I believe this is the time for me to finish this book. The Holy Spirit is calling me to journey with Him and to open up my heart to what the scriptures really say and really mean concerning women, and apostolic women, at that. I have no desire to rule over a man as I see my own shortcomings and vulnerabilities every day. However, I also see these same obstacles in the lives of men.
I believe the LORD is raising up a warring bride. There is no doubt of this in me. However, am I willing to believe that he really IS raising up Deborah's whom govern His children, and settle matters? I have prayed it, I have believed it in part but I feel the Lord wants to release faith in a greater measure to me that I could call forth the generals in the bride; the women, in specific. Those who do not fear because they know their God. Those who are not afraid of blood and war and burn with the justice of a Bridegroom King. Those who will carry out the strategies of heaven as they are allowed to be in the counsel of the war room. Lord, bring forth a warring bride, whomever will arise and shine! Especially the women and children; while unsuspecting warriors, the victory has been given to them.
It's the story of Junia, an apostle named by Paul, the one whom also mentions that women should learn in quiet submission. The basis of the book is found in Romans 16:7.
"Salute Andronicus and Junia, my kinsmen, and my fellow-prisoners, who are of note among the apostles, who also were in Christ before me."
Junia was a woman.
When I first started to read the book, something inside of me began to identify with the shame of being a female in general, let alone in ministry. My deep-rooted fear of man (not limited to women, by any means) began to reveal itself and I felt a deep sorrow in my heart. Not your typical response, I don't think, to discovering that there were indeed female apostles in the Bible. You would think that my heart would have initially been delighted but, I was confronted w/my own disbelief and ignorance over this issue. I've been in such a season of coming into my 'own' (or rather, 'his' own) that my eyes have been both gradually and instantly opened in a way that absolutely feels revelatory. I should not be surprised by such obvious insights and yet, it always seems like the first time I've heard it when it does come.
I believe a revelation of bridal partnership is coming in a deep, powerful way. I am reminded of the recent words of Shelley Hundley concerning this. And this revelation is most certainly for the bride, both men and women, but I see so many prophetic parallels in the way the women in the Bible governed w/authority, fearlessness and integrity of heart and how the Bride of Christ is to govern, as well. Women who feared the Lord and acknowledged his name were used mightily by Him to accomplish His purposes. There is no male/female in Christ in this sense. Galatians 3:28 'There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.'
I believe this is the time for me to finish this book. The Holy Spirit is calling me to journey with Him and to open up my heart to what the scriptures really say and really mean concerning women, and apostolic women, at that. I have no desire to rule over a man as I see my own shortcomings and vulnerabilities every day. However, I also see these same obstacles in the lives of men.
I believe the LORD is raising up a warring bride. There is no doubt of this in me. However, am I willing to believe that he really IS raising up Deborah's whom govern His children, and settle matters? I have prayed it, I have believed it in part but I feel the Lord wants to release faith in a greater measure to me that I could call forth the generals in the bride; the women, in specific. Those who do not fear because they know their God. Those who are not afraid of blood and war and burn with the justice of a Bridegroom King. Those who will carry out the strategies of heaven as they are allowed to be in the counsel of the war room. Lord, bring forth a warring bride, whomever will arise and shine! Especially the women and children; while unsuspecting warriors, the victory has been given to them.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
The Friend and the Bride of the Bridegroom
I woke up this morning with this phrase in my head.
"Because I'm his friend he tells me his secrets. Because I am his bride he lets me govern those secrets."
Wow. God...in friendship you share your heart with me; your burdens, your longings, your insights and truths. But in bridal partnership you share your authority with me to govern those things and bring forth the fruit of that love relationship on the earth. What joy is mine!!!!
John 3:29
"The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom's voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete."
"Because I'm his friend he tells me his secrets. Because I am his bride he lets me govern those secrets."
Wow. God...in friendship you share your heart with me; your burdens, your longings, your insights and truths. But in bridal partnership you share your authority with me to govern those things and bring forth the fruit of that love relationship on the earth. What joy is mine!!!!
John 3:29
"The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom's voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete."
Monday, December 14, 2009
Revealed with Fire
Had a dream about fire Saturday night. Thought I would share it.
In my dream I was running alongside a field that had been burnt up by fire. I understood that it had been subject to controlled burning as many land owners will do in times of drought. As I was running I noticed a woman and her husband (actual people I know) in the field. She was standing above him as he was sitting on the ground, covered in flames. He was not responding to the flames as a man on fire would be. I was alarmed and yet, the flames were not consuming him as natural fire would. It made me think of the burning bush in the Old Testament. As I came near to this woman I began to pray with her for her husband and then we each took a hand and pulled him up from the place he was sitting, as if we were pulling him from the fire. As he was pulled up he turned into another friend of mine and then her mother was revealed, standing next to her. So, I had the married couple on one side and the mother/daughter on the other side. I then began to speak to them, "The Lord is saying that He has qualified you with fire. With fire you have been qualified." And right then their hearts were set to rest because of the word of encouragement and they were affirmed in Jesus, despite this time of fiery testing. (in the natural both of the situations have been devastating) The dream continues from there but I will not publish the rest. I feel it's for a later time.
As I was praying into this dream the Lord took me to 1 Corinthians 3 where Jesus is speaking of ministries, actually, and the testing/revealing of them with fire.
1 Corinthians 3: 12- 15
If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man's work. If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames.
There is personal revelation here for the Bride, not just in the context of contrasting ministries. This idea of fire that does not consume the person but rather what the person has built is a mystery that begs to be made known in this hour. I have a general understanding of this parable and what it means to have the Day or light showing the works of man for what it is. However, I feel there is a fire before the fire that is coming. This type of fire I believe it actually testing the hearts of men that they would suffer loss in this day rather than on that Day.
Over the summer the Lord spoke to my heart about fire that was coming for me in January of 2010. I felt the Holy Spirit speaking to me that I would be, "birthing fire by January." The imagery alone makes me hurt! Birthing anything is painful but FIRE?! So, I know the fire is coming; the controlled burn of the Spirit is coming as a preventative measure against the fire that WILL consume. The quality of each man's work will be revealed. The good news? If it stands approved of God, he will receive his reward. What is the reward? Only God knows the full measure of the reward but I do believe He shared with me that one of the immediate reward is the ability to move into the 'qualifying rounds' that we would be properly positioned to receive the newness of what He is going to bring. I believe He wants to add to what He's begun but the foundation must first be proven. New wine requires new wineskin lest it be destroyed. A new wineskin requires the forging and fire of God. I pray we are able to stand as approved workmanship in the day of fire.
1 Timothy 2:15
Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.
Ephesians 2:10
For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
I am feeling the deep shift and change in the plates of my soul, again. I have prayed for exponential grace and growth for this next year. I believe I am feeling the establishing of that in my spirit and it's causing my flesh to be very uncomfortable where I am. It's sometimes difficult to know what a normal 'day in the life of' a mother of four looks like while carrying/birthing holy burdens and burnings. And yet, I don't want to be able to recognize myself when this is all said and done. I want renewal and transformation in the deepest parts. Quick shifts and changes rattle cages yet I've willingly sung the song, "Come and turn my little world upside down!" Oh, He's doing it...from the inside out.
In my dream I was running alongside a field that had been burnt up by fire. I understood that it had been subject to controlled burning as many land owners will do in times of drought. As I was running I noticed a woman and her husband (actual people I know) in the field. She was standing above him as he was sitting on the ground, covered in flames. He was not responding to the flames as a man on fire would be. I was alarmed and yet, the flames were not consuming him as natural fire would. It made me think of the burning bush in the Old Testament. As I came near to this woman I began to pray with her for her husband and then we each took a hand and pulled him up from the place he was sitting, as if we were pulling him from the fire. As he was pulled up he turned into another friend of mine and then her mother was revealed, standing next to her. So, I had the married couple on one side and the mother/daughter on the other side. I then began to speak to them, "The Lord is saying that He has qualified you with fire. With fire you have been qualified." And right then their hearts were set to rest because of the word of encouragement and they were affirmed in Jesus, despite this time of fiery testing. (in the natural both of the situations have been devastating) The dream continues from there but I will not publish the rest. I feel it's for a later time.
As I was praying into this dream the Lord took me to 1 Corinthians 3 where Jesus is speaking of ministries, actually, and the testing/revealing of them with fire.
1 Corinthians 3: 12- 15
If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man's work. If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames.
There is personal revelation here for the Bride, not just in the context of contrasting ministries. This idea of fire that does not consume the person but rather what the person has built is a mystery that begs to be made known in this hour. I have a general understanding of this parable and what it means to have the Day or light showing the works of man for what it is. However, I feel there is a fire before the fire that is coming. This type of fire I believe it actually testing the hearts of men that they would suffer loss in this day rather than on that Day.
Over the summer the Lord spoke to my heart about fire that was coming for me in January of 2010. I felt the Holy Spirit speaking to me that I would be, "birthing fire by January." The imagery alone makes me hurt! Birthing anything is painful but FIRE?! So, I know the fire is coming; the controlled burn of the Spirit is coming as a preventative measure against the fire that WILL consume. The quality of each man's work will be revealed. The good news? If it stands approved of God, he will receive his reward. What is the reward? Only God knows the full measure of the reward but I do believe He shared with me that one of the immediate reward is the ability to move into the 'qualifying rounds' that we would be properly positioned to receive the newness of what He is going to bring. I believe He wants to add to what He's begun but the foundation must first be proven. New wine requires new wineskin lest it be destroyed. A new wineskin requires the forging and fire of God. I pray we are able to stand as approved workmanship in the day of fire.
1 Timothy 2:15
Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.
Ephesians 2:10
For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
I am feeling the deep shift and change in the plates of my soul, again. I have prayed for exponential grace and growth for this next year. I believe I am feeling the establishing of that in my spirit and it's causing my flesh to be very uncomfortable where I am. It's sometimes difficult to know what a normal 'day in the life of' a mother of four looks like while carrying/birthing holy burdens and burnings. And yet, I don't want to be able to recognize myself when this is all said and done. I want renewal and transformation in the deepest parts. Quick shifts and changes rattle cages yet I've willingly sung the song, "Come and turn my little world upside down!" Oh, He's doing it...from the inside out.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
2 Corinthians 12:10
If our strength is not derived from a place of weakness, then it's probably not from Him.
Selah...
Selah...
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Love Wins Because It Never Fails
The other day my little guy Teague was in a sour mood, which is hard to imagine because he's the most pleasant toddler I've had, by far. He was disgruntled about something (it escapes me now) and was shuffling over to the stove to tell me about his issue. (Something about something with Taryn sounds about right...) He said he was going to be a mean boy about it, though. (That means he's going to be stinky and get mad about something. He warns us :)) I said, "No, you shouldn't be a mean boy." He then told me that he was going to be a mean boy to me for saying that to him! Then he made the smallest, cutest fist with the sweetest, softest little boy hands and took at swing at my thigh. Normally, a parent (perhaps myself a few years ago) would take a rigid approach and say something along the lines of, "How dare you hit me!" and all that jazz. However, I felt the Holy Spirit speaking to my heart to just wait a moment and to teach him something about His ways.
So, I allowed my precious little boy to sock me in the thigh (I made sure not to laugh at how gentle it was) as I stood above him, fixing dinner over the stove top. He looked up at me and tried to read my expression as I stood over him. I smiled and said, "I love you, Teague."
He looked down at my thigh and repeated his clench, swing and hit but this time a bit harder. Looking up again he met my eyes and I smiled and said, "I love you, Teague. Even when you hit me, I still love you." Then he ran off real quick-like (I thought he had grown frustrated but...nope) and came back with an empty aluminum foil roll (his make-shift light saber) and began to whip the back of my knees with it. Whomp, whomp, whomp with all his might and then a look up into my face, yet again.
"Teague, no matter what you do to me, I win. I'm love."
He looked confused at first and so I expounded.
"Love is better than mean so, I win! Love always beats mean so I win!"
He slipped away from me as I continued to cook dinner and when I found him again he was the kind and gentle boy I know most days. I prayed that the Holy Spirit would do a work in his young heart. I was able to see a quick return on that prayer last night while lying in bed with my little brother bear.
We were talking about all sorts of things under the sun but of course some talk of soldiers came in, and about how Teague wears his armor and kills all the bad guys. (I love this valor in boys) He says to me with total conviction, "Mom, I kill all the bad guys. You know why? Because I'm love and love wins." My heart almost leaped out of my chest because that little guy's spirit heard the words of truth that day and received them as such. I said to him, "That's right, son! Love always wins and you are love because Jesus is love and He's inside of you!" And then we tweaked the killing part a little bit w/the concept being that the way you beat the bad guys is to turn them into good guys...no need to kill them :P He loved that idea even more!
So, thank you LORD for revealing the power of LOVE to a 3 year old! Would you do it in the hearts of your adult children, too?!
So, I allowed my precious little boy to sock me in the thigh (I made sure not to laugh at how gentle it was) as I stood above him, fixing dinner over the stove top. He looked up at me and tried to read my expression as I stood over him. I smiled and said, "I love you, Teague."
He looked down at my thigh and repeated his clench, swing and hit but this time a bit harder. Looking up again he met my eyes and I smiled and said, "I love you, Teague. Even when you hit me, I still love you." Then he ran off real quick-like (I thought he had grown frustrated but...nope) and came back with an empty aluminum foil roll (his make-shift light saber) and began to whip the back of my knees with it. Whomp, whomp, whomp with all his might and then a look up into my face, yet again.
"Teague, no matter what you do to me, I win. I'm love."
He looked confused at first and so I expounded.
"Love is better than mean so, I win! Love always beats mean so I win!"
He slipped away from me as I continued to cook dinner and when I found him again he was the kind and gentle boy I know most days. I prayed that the Holy Spirit would do a work in his young heart. I was able to see a quick return on that prayer last night while lying in bed with my little brother bear.
We were talking about all sorts of things under the sun but of course some talk of soldiers came in, and about how Teague wears his armor and kills all the bad guys. (I love this valor in boys) He says to me with total conviction, "Mom, I kill all the bad guys. You know why? Because I'm love and love wins." My heart almost leaped out of my chest because that little guy's spirit heard the words of truth that day and received them as such. I said to him, "That's right, son! Love always wins and you are love because Jesus is love and He's inside of you!" And then we tweaked the killing part a little bit w/the concept being that the way you beat the bad guys is to turn them into good guys...no need to kill them :P He loved that idea even more!
So, thank you LORD for revealing the power of LOVE to a 3 year old! Would you do it in the hearts of your adult children, too?!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Rise & Shine
Isaiah 60:1 "Arise, shine; For your light has come! And the glory of the LORD is risen upon you."
Woke up this morning around 6:45am to Tim crawling back into bed. He had gone to the JBU prayer vigil at about 4:30am this morning and was now returning to his warm haven. As I was waking up I was torn from a dream.
In the dream I was a news reporter and I was sitting at my computer, fingers on the keyboard. I was waiting for the headline from 'heaven' as I sat there, listening, waiting with expectation. I was waiting on the word of the LORD to fall so that I could type it, print it and deliver it to the people. Then suddenly the headline came from heaven. I heard a voice saying, "RISE AND SHINE! RISE AND SHINE! RISE AND SHINE!" I started to type it instantly, again and again, on my keyboard. I started to say it, again and again, out loud. Then I literally was awakened from the dream. And now I'm literally typing it on my computer for you to read :) LORD, let your light shine through us and your glory, upon us!
I am preparing to head to the JBU prayer vigil to help lead a set concerning sexual purity and women. I asked Jesus to give me a dream concerning this and to burden my heart for what burdens his heart. I indeed had a dream and it confirmed something the LORD showed me yesterday as I was making my bed. (rare occurrence, the bed-making part)
In my dream I saw a young, beautiful girl dressed in a very sensual way; super high heels and clothing that hung from her body. Then I saw a film strip of snapshots where she was disrobing and capturing every bit on camera. She was then posting these photos on the Internet. This would seem quite random and odd for some however, I had asked God to highlight areas for prayer concerning purity and holiness in women (college women, in specific) and believe he has done so. Also, the LORD shared a snippet of his heart with me yesterday while I was making my bed, concerning women who long to be desired and find that 'wanted' feeling through online live streams and digital uploads of themselves in a sexual manner, on the Internet. I paused to pray with him because my heart was grieved. Thinking of girls in high school, as well, as they give themselves away; casting pearls before swine. I can so identify with this burden. The LORD has done a deep, deep work in me concerning purity and it's been painful/wonderful. The journey continues as He woos my heart to give every part for the sake of holiness. Holiness is looking much different as I get older. I see it's more than right and wrong/good and bad; it's about purity in every part, righteousness in every choice, and holiness as a lifestyle. For me, it's really come down to this dialogue and mindset, 'God, you dwell in unapproachable light and the splendor of holiness. I want to be near you and you want to be near me...but I am unclean. Come closer and make me holy as you are holy.' And He has absolutely answered this prayer and continues to answer it. He will not allow sin and darkness to separate us so why should I?
I hope to have an update of God's goodness and healing power this morning. Such a beautiful Redeemer I serve!
Woke up this morning around 6:45am to Tim crawling back into bed. He had gone to the JBU prayer vigil at about 4:30am this morning and was now returning to his warm haven. As I was waking up I was torn from a dream.
In the dream I was a news reporter and I was sitting at my computer, fingers on the keyboard. I was waiting for the headline from 'heaven' as I sat there, listening, waiting with expectation. I was waiting on the word of the LORD to fall so that I could type it, print it and deliver it to the people. Then suddenly the headline came from heaven. I heard a voice saying, "RISE AND SHINE! RISE AND SHINE! RISE AND SHINE!" I started to type it instantly, again and again, on my keyboard. I started to say it, again and again, out loud. Then I literally was awakened from the dream. And now I'm literally typing it on my computer for you to read :) LORD, let your light shine through us and your glory, upon us!
I am preparing to head to the JBU prayer vigil to help lead a set concerning sexual purity and women. I asked Jesus to give me a dream concerning this and to burden my heart for what burdens his heart. I indeed had a dream and it confirmed something the LORD showed me yesterday as I was making my bed. (rare occurrence, the bed-making part)
In my dream I saw a young, beautiful girl dressed in a very sensual way; super high heels and clothing that hung from her body. Then I saw a film strip of snapshots where she was disrobing and capturing every bit on camera. She was then posting these photos on the Internet. This would seem quite random and odd for some however, I had asked God to highlight areas for prayer concerning purity and holiness in women (college women, in specific) and believe he has done so. Also, the LORD shared a snippet of his heart with me yesterday while I was making my bed, concerning women who long to be desired and find that 'wanted' feeling through online live streams and digital uploads of themselves in a sexual manner, on the Internet. I paused to pray with him because my heart was grieved. Thinking of girls in high school, as well, as they give themselves away; casting pearls before swine. I can so identify with this burden. The LORD has done a deep, deep work in me concerning purity and it's been painful/wonderful. The journey continues as He woos my heart to give every part for the sake of holiness. Holiness is looking much different as I get older. I see it's more than right and wrong/good and bad; it's about purity in every part, righteousness in every choice, and holiness as a lifestyle. For me, it's really come down to this dialogue and mindset, 'God, you dwell in unapproachable light and the splendor of holiness. I want to be near you and you want to be near me...but I am unclean. Come closer and make me holy as you are holy.' And He has absolutely answered this prayer and continues to answer it. He will not allow sin and darkness to separate us so why should I?
I hope to have an update of God's goodness and healing power this morning. Such a beautiful Redeemer I serve!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
How long, O LORD...
Something is happening to me. I'm not sure how to confine it in everyday life, at times. It feels as if I am being seasoned like a cast iron pot; in the fire before being put to good use. The fire before the fire, I suppose. At any rate, I feel my mind/will/emotions being changed and as I am occasionally exposed to and reintroduced back into moments of "normal" life I see that something very deep within has fundamentally changed. It's serves as a divine marking that is to set me on a course for the rest of my life, and for the generations to come as well. I understand this much and yet the pain is quite evident. I am confronted and confined by the context of the wilderness that I said yes to almost a year ago, with all that I had and with all that I am. Is this my first time in the wilderness? Not at all. Is this the first time I have gone even somewhat willingly? Perhaps. Am I leaning? More like crawling...
I woke up this morning with a phrase in my spirit, "How long, O LORD..." It rings through me again and again. It's a cry for justice as in the days of Habakkuk. How long, O LORD, before the wrong things are made right?! How long before your judgments are on the earth?!
Habakkuk 1:1-4
"How long, O LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen? Or cry out to you, "Violence!" but you do not save? Why do you make me look at injustice? Why do you tolerate wrong? Destruction and violence are before me; there is strife, and conflict abounds. Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails. The wicked hem in the righteous, so that justice is perverted."
That word 'violence' is such a trigger word for me. You see, I had a dream the night before last and it was violent and it imparted a violence in my spirit by simply sharing in it. The message swirled about me all day yesterday and it was this, "When you experience the violence of injustice (the oppressed), you become violent for the kingdom of heaven!"
Matthew 11:12 "...the kingdom of heaven suffereth violence, and the violent take it by force."
The Lord is establishing a violence in me towards injustice and FOR the kingdom of heaven to come as JUSTICE to this unjust world! At times it feels that I can not bear the raw emotion of it. It seems that if I give myself to the zeal of justice, it will sweep me away into a place so far removed from where I am today. The justice heart of Jesus is imparting a cry that only He can answer. Habakkuk questions the LORD, "Why do you make me look at injustice?" It's almost unbearable to see and to know the injustices that occur in the land and yet I so believe this is something the LORD is doing in His bride, that she might burn as He burns. The LORD has spoken so many times to me through the story of Hannah, and through her season of provoking in her barrenness.
1 Samuel 1:6-7 And her rival also provoked her severely, to make her miserable, because the LORD had closed her womb. So it was, year by year, when she went up to the house of the LORD, that she provoked her; therefore she wept and did not eat.
We each have our own areas of barrenness. Mine are not greater than yours. However, it feels that in this season mine provoke me on every front as I am forced to watch, "the wicked hem in the righteous" and those who provoke, prosper. This is divine, I understand, but it's almost torture as it cultivates a zeal that I have yet to taste.
When I see businesses prosper, I crave it's profit for the poor of the earth. When I see rich and lavish foods, I desire it for the perishing. When I see excesses and surpluses, I covet it for the deficits of the oppressed. When I observe the man who does not acknowledge the Lord and yet goes about his days, I long to see his freedom and mobility granted to those who are bound to wheelchairs and hospital beds. When I see the senseless wealth of the wicked, and I claim it for the release of the captives and for the setting of the lonely into families. When I see justice perverted and the innocent sentenced to a violent death, I reel in my spirit for a just judge to RETURN!!!! Lord, will you allow this zeal to consume me? May it set me ablaze that I may burn before you in intercession. May it cause me to pour out my soul before you, as it did Hannah, as my 'womb' remains empty.
How long have I lived for myself, God? Since birth I have looked after my own interests. But now you mark me, bless me, with such an intimate partnership; such an extravagant offering of my soul. The invitation into deep fellowship; the justice heart of a just Bridegroom King. I will not send you away this time. I will not say, "Until the day breaks, and the shadows flee, turn..." because you have drawn me. I say, "I will rise now and go..." because the zeal of the Lord has called me out of my comfort. Great is the invitation, dangerous is the journey but VICTORIOUS is our JUST KING as he conquers injustice on the earth and releases his judgments unto righteousness.
I woke up this morning with a phrase in my spirit, "How long, O LORD..." It rings through me again and again. It's a cry for justice as in the days of Habakkuk. How long, O LORD, before the wrong things are made right?! How long before your judgments are on the earth?!
Habakkuk 1:1-4
"How long, O LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen? Or cry out to you, "Violence!" but you do not save? Why do you make me look at injustice? Why do you tolerate wrong? Destruction and violence are before me; there is strife, and conflict abounds. Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails. The wicked hem in the righteous, so that justice is perverted."
That word 'violence' is such a trigger word for me. You see, I had a dream the night before last and it was violent and it imparted a violence in my spirit by simply sharing in it. The message swirled about me all day yesterday and it was this, "When you experience the violence of injustice (the oppressed), you become violent for the kingdom of heaven!"
Matthew 11:12 "...the kingdom of heaven suffereth violence, and the violent take it by force."
The Lord is establishing a violence in me towards injustice and FOR the kingdom of heaven to come as JUSTICE to this unjust world! At times it feels that I can not bear the raw emotion of it. It seems that if I give myself to the zeal of justice, it will sweep me away into a place so far removed from where I am today. The justice heart of Jesus is imparting a cry that only He can answer. Habakkuk questions the LORD, "Why do you make me look at injustice?" It's almost unbearable to see and to know the injustices that occur in the land and yet I so believe this is something the LORD is doing in His bride, that she might burn as He burns. The LORD has spoken so many times to me through the story of Hannah, and through her season of provoking in her barrenness.
1 Samuel 1:6-7 And her rival also provoked her severely, to make her miserable, because the LORD had closed her womb. So it was, year by year, when she went up to the house of the LORD, that she provoked her; therefore she wept and did not eat.
We each have our own areas of barrenness. Mine are not greater than yours. However, it feels that in this season mine provoke me on every front as I am forced to watch, "the wicked hem in the righteous" and those who provoke, prosper. This is divine, I understand, but it's almost torture as it cultivates a zeal that I have yet to taste.
When I see businesses prosper, I crave it's profit for the poor of the earth. When I see rich and lavish foods, I desire it for the perishing. When I see excesses and surpluses, I covet it for the deficits of the oppressed. When I observe the man who does not acknowledge the Lord and yet goes about his days, I long to see his freedom and mobility granted to those who are bound to wheelchairs and hospital beds. When I see the senseless wealth of the wicked, and I claim it for the release of the captives and for the setting of the lonely into families. When I see justice perverted and the innocent sentenced to a violent death, I reel in my spirit for a just judge to RETURN!!!! Lord, will you allow this zeal to consume me? May it set me ablaze that I may burn before you in intercession. May it cause me to pour out my soul before you, as it did Hannah, as my 'womb' remains empty.
How long have I lived for myself, God? Since birth I have looked after my own interests. But now you mark me, bless me, with such an intimate partnership; such an extravagant offering of my soul. The invitation into deep fellowship; the justice heart of a just Bridegroom King. I will not send you away this time. I will not say, "Until the day breaks, and the shadows flee, turn..." because you have drawn me. I say, "I will rise now and go..." because the zeal of the Lord has called me out of my comfort. Great is the invitation, dangerous is the journey but VICTORIOUS is our JUST KING as he conquers injustice on the earth and releases his judgments unto righteousness.
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