fix you

I use to think it was my job to fix people, things. By nature, I am a 'fixer-type' personality, also known as peacekeeper, mediator, bridge-builder, caretaker, etc. Any one of those fits the bill. But through the last few years I have learned a hard lesson, that I cannot fix anything or anybody. I can't even fix myself. Only Jesus is the true fixer-upper and for me to assume this role is simply prideful, exhausting, and even enabling at times to the one who is broken. It is not my job to fix. It's my job to introduce the Fixer to the one who needs fixing. He does the fixing and sometimes he uses my hands, feet, life to aid in the process.

I believe the Lord has made me to be a responder. If I see a need and I can help meet it, I try to do that. If I see a hurting soul and I have a free hand or ear to offer, I will do this as well. But many times in the past, I have thought I was the only one who could meet needs, even taking on a false responsibility and guilt in meeting specific needs for specific ones. It has required more faith on my part to not rush in and try to fix a situation but rather wait on the Lord to do something deeper, something eternal. Who am I to interfere with His processes, to constantly 'fix' in a surface way a deeper hemorrhage that only the Surgeon can attend to? Again, my pride. Hard lesson to learn and ultimately harm for the already hurting.

I know that as a parent, my fix instinct is STRONG. I don't want my children to make painful mistakes, obviously. But to rush to the place of every injury and slap on a band aid is not really fixing anything. And it's not really love, either. It's fear. It's me, as a parent, fearing my children actually having to deal with pain and perhaps, not dealing well with pain. I don't want my children to suffer. Who does? But, this is not the Lord's heart posture over us, as His children. While He does not delight in seeing us hurting, squirming, wrestling, He does not always automatically rush to the scene of the crime and make it instantly better. Many times He lingers in the background, giving us just enough space to invite Him into the trauma, into the pain. Sometimes He tarries long in His response, even as hard as it is for us to fathom. Sometimes He allows things to get worse, well before He makes them better. That's because He is the True Fixer, and he fixes perfectly, not superficially. He does deep work that takes a lifetime to perfect. He is not a genie in a bottle, He is God. He is not afraid of pain, has taken it on in the fullest form. Therefore, He knows that pain, struggle, need, brokenness and the like, is not too much for His children, either. He said to not fear, He has overcome the world. Knowing that Jesus took on every hardship known to man and overcame it, should instill a perfect peace inside of me, that I can do the same; that my children can do the same. He faced great need (didn't even have one friend who really 'got him' or who could stay awake and pray with him), great opposition and insurmountable persecution. And the Father spared Him none of it. In fact, the scriptures say that Jesus was taught obedience through these things. What kind of parent allows this?!!! A perfect one.

While Jesus healed all who came to Him and performed signs and wonders, He was not rescued when it seemed He should have been. As the old song goes, "He could have called 10,000 angels..." But there is always something bigger, greater, deeper going on. He was securing our eternal healing in the midst of all that pain. God is indeed the perfect Fixer-Upper. He knows just what He's doing and I would do well to trust and follow His way.